We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
