I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
