Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
