Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
