He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
