but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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