At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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