I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
