I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
