separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
