Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
