The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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