We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
