my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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