We won't sleep together?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
