just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
