yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
