mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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