I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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