are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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