K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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