There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
