i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
