last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
