Someone shit on the floor
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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