That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
