she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
