Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
