it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
smell my finger.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
