apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
