Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Is it penis luge time yet?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
