Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
