I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
