Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
