U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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