It's Friday. Sex?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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