how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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