Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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