I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
