Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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