Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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