This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
