So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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