Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Randomize
