You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
