tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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