We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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