He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
