Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
