Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
