Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
