I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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